Day 1

Day 1

Cookie monsters:

            It is surprising how well camouflaged these cookie monsters are. They present themselves to the business world as controlled adult men and women in suits, poised to revolutionize the business world with their brilliant ideas, yet underneath lies a treacherous creature, waiting to burst from beneath the double breasted blazer. It is the cookie monster. Everyday they leave for work in an orderly fashion, but return disheveled, his every hope and dream pinned on the fresh baked cookies. The staff must bake fresh cookies everyday in order to appease these hungry monsters. If, perhaps, theses monsters arrive at the front desk and there are no cookies to ease their craving hearts, either because it not a scheduled cookie baking day or their fellow cookie monsters have already eaten the entire stock of baked goods, the cookie monsters will explode.

Under their well-dressed disguises lies one of three types of cookie monsters. The first is the petulant child. He may discuss mergers and profit margins in some of the most well known business during the day, but at night he screams in disbelief. His face falls and he blames the staff for every horrible situation that has befallen this child in a suit. He first questions the staff as to the absence of cookies, and then proceeds to whine. In order to survive this monster one must remember that every child needs some discipline in his life.

The second is the banshee. This monster speaks at normal volumes throughout the day, but once the promise of cookies is interrupted this monster’s voice have been registered to reach inhuman octaves. Do not be alarmed. This cookie monster will screech and cause the staff to question whether they just killed the monster’s child unknowingly, but the best approach to handle a banshee is to stay quiet. Do not engage. Just shrug and apologize. The burst of loud screams of agony will dissipate as quickly as they erupted.

The third is the joker. This cookie monster is almost always flanked by fellow cookie monsters of his kind, or at the very least, imagines that he is flanked. He at all times acts as though he has an audience. He will make the staff feel uncomfortable for not supplying his stupid grin with cookies. He will accuse the staff, jokingly of course, of hiding the cookies or worse eating all of the cookies themselves. Every joke will be designed to make the staff seem incompetent. The only way to survive this cookie monster is patience. He does not know how to stop himself and sees every item as material for comedy show of one. The staff must wait until he leaves.

Hope that this aids your survival.

Good luck. Godspeed.